Sunday, April 5, 2009

Selfish Me, Shame!

***Day 28 *** (Wow, that’s four weeks)!!

Well now, there have been a few good blog friends who have sent me emails, wondering where oh where art thou.  So sorry for allowing myself to worry all those who are concerned and care about me.  I have been being very very selfish, and keeping myself locked up safe and secure in my own realm of thoughts. 

It’s strange to think about, but since I quit smoking, and the related stress it seems to have caused, I allowed myself to revert.  Revert to my old safe, comfortable, and lonely means of existence.  I simply went back to the way I was, if you will.  Living in the moment, solely within my own thoughts safely away from everything and everyone.

The problem with this is that I can not move forward and improve by living like I used to.  I have to think of my friends, and keep up my conversations, even if they are just for myself.   I can tell you that since I locked myself back into my own little world, it has been one of the darkest weeks I’ve had for a very long time.  I just hope I don’t have to re-learn how to be open and creative again. 

Thank you ever so much to those of you who reached out to pull me back.  You know who you are, and I can’t tell you how much it means to to me.

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