Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Progress, One Day at a Time

    3 Day’s smoke free, woo hoo! 

I’m celebrating with a single beer tonight, no more than that.  Mainly because I don’t trust myself with more than one, LOL.  I think I deserve a beer though, it’s been tough, stressful, and pretty much a miserable 3 days.  I am looking to the future though, and that keeps me course with a good compass heading.

Surprisingly enough, at least to me, everyone that is pulling for me is helping a lot.  I know it sounds strange, but the fact that if I let myself down, I would then have to fess up to all of you, is one of the factors that keeps me on track.  Every time  I tried to stop before, I never announced it to anyone but close family.  This time I announced my intention to quit smoking to the entire world.  What a difference that makes,  some real incentive to keep at it.

Today was pretty mild, but I seemed to have more nervous energy.  There was also a few more rationalizations for cheating.  I didn’t though, I stuck to my guns, and I am going to keep sticking with it.  I can’t let myself cheat, not even a little.  I think I would be more embarrassed about that, if it happened, than anything else I can think of right now.

I can’t wait for  the mental aspect of this to end.  I know I can beat the physical, all I have to do is keep busy.  What really bothers me more than anything right now, is my scattered mental state.  I know I’ll get my head back on straight before too long, but dam, it is so hard, not being able to concentrate for more than 10 minutes.

After this week, I might just start joining Kel, and getting up an hour early to get some exercise in.  It’s been a long time since I had a good run, let alone did any calisthenics and stretches. I keep thinking that it would help me get through the rest of the process too.  For now though, I can only go day by day, and keep faith in myself.

Thanks to everyone for the support, I can’t believe how many people are pulling for me!


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